I'm sure nobody wants to read this, so saveyourself the time and dont

  I dont like to let new people into my life, I struggle to trust people with anything, I'm afraid of what might happen if one day I snapped, in my life I try to live for others that they might be happier, I'm scared to be selfish, I feel used by almost everyone around me, as well as underapreciated,  I feel alone all the time, happiness is truly a rare feeling, I beleive in fighting for what I feel is right, I want to be a better person than I am,  I'm not a good person,  I dont have many friends, my only constant comfort lately has been the night sky,  I fear tommorow, I'm afraid of going to college because I'm leaving my comfort zone, I never leave my comfort zone.  with the exception of the last 2 months I've felt no reason to live no reason to die either just no reason to live, I constantly search for something I dont know what it is but I am always looking for it, lately I suffer from insomnia, constantly being tired gives me very little hope for anything, my world is a very small place with high fences and barbed wire, I couldnt escape if i tried, I dont like who I am,  I feel like I'm not good at anything and mediocre at best in everything, I'm sad all the time, I forget things easily, I feel like I contribute nothing to this world, there must be something better
I dont belong here